i'm alive

bye.

2010-05-01T01:09:00.003+08:00

ok i'm done with blogspot. too much spammmmm. but before i change my blog address, perhaps, i should wrap up my most unhappy sem in this blog.

and so, the grades were officially released today. did ok. and now, i know, i will have to work doubly hard in year 4 sem 2 to keep my merit. haha. class part sucks.

went for nestle interview today and i don't even think i have a chance at it. well, i will just wait patiently for that stroke of luck. meanwhile, i should really get some well deserved rest. it has been 3 years.

my new blog address will be: www.todaylingers.wordpress.com

the end.

2010-04-20T01:03:00.002+08:00

end of exams!

well, this must be the 6th time i'm saying this already. this time round, i'm saying this with much more happiness cause if my agony goes on any further, i seriously think i will be on my way to developing depression.

SUMMER is here and this week, i will be busy with floorball stuff and hopefully, wrap up my consulting project (and get my pay from it soon). hahaha.

Shall chillax for as long as possible and fulfill all the things i've set out to do in summer. I shall be more disciplined and not nua everyday (think of how kevin is pia-ing for his CFA). we are made of better things, aren't we? Will take my time to source for an internship i will enjoy. Don't wanna jump into any position this time round ;)

Cheers to a fulfilling summer.

(P.S. am thinking of changing a new blog address ;))

just to please sinyi :) (who thinks i'm most likely to repost this)

2010-04-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

01. I’ve come to realize that my butt: has the ability to shrink and expand in size

02. I’ve come to realize that when I talk: i tend to be lazy and slur through my words

03. I’ve come to realize that if I love someone: i lose myself

04. I’ve come to realize that I need: to think for my family and friends

05. I’ve come to realize that I’ve lost: the guts i had when i had no care in the world

06. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when: people talk to me when i'm concentrating

07. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk: it's going to be a very rare occurrence

08. I’ve come to realize that money: is really important, but not more than that of kinships

09. I’ve come to realize that my mother: loves me a lot

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll probably always be: soft hearted

11. I’ve come to realize that I have a crush on: serious guys

12. I’ve come to realize that the last time I cried was: when i was drunk

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone: is the best i've ever had

14. I’ve come to realize that when I wake up in the morning: the first thing i do is to rush to the bathroom

15. I’ve come to realize that before I go to sleep at night: i will reflect on the day

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking about: nothing

17. I’ve come to realize that babies: are blessings and will probably require me to dedicate my whole life to them

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook: i will first check my own profile

19. I’ve come to realize that today I will: research on my choices. internship/exchange

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight I will: study

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow I will: study

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to: make my mark and settle down

23. I’ve come to realize that who is most likely to repost this is: no one. seriously.

24. I’ve come to realize relationships: is not as simple to manage as i think of it to be

25. I’ve come to realize love: isn't just about how i feel

26. I’ve come to realize food: keeps me going

27. I’ve come to realize that when I’m a boyfriend/girlfriend: i'm lousy

28. I’ve come to realize girls and boys: are totally different

29. I’ve come to realize over the summer: that time passes real fast when you are having fun/busy

30. I’ve come to realize heartbreak: kills

end of MR and Ops Strat

2010-04-12T17:51:00.002+08:00

the end of MR and Ops Strat with the conclusion of the two exams today. YAY!

ok. somehow, though i know i won't do well, i'm not that affected. maybe i just need the shock from seeing the final grade. whats new? haha.

tonight, i will have ample 'me' time to catch up on all the things that i have to, and probably watch a movie. a tearjerker. tml, i will start scm. yawn. i'm sleepy, but trying not to sleep, cause i still wanna sleep tonight!! hahah chillaxxx

sometimes

2010-04-10T19:55:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i feel like being the hermit and just hide under the blankets for the whole day.

sometimes, i feel like blasting my music, walk down the busy streets, and try to be invisible.

sometimes, you know crying will do you a lot of good.

sometimes, sometimes, sometimes

very creative

2010-04-09T20:20:00.002+08:00

i want to be close to you like

shoes with laces

teeth with braces

or asentencewithoutspaces

i need some guidance

2010-04-09T00:10:00.002+08:00

this is a season where there are a million things to distract and preventing me from focusing on exams. i still believe in the chinese proverb, 船到桥头自然直。

hence, i will just take it one step at a time and hope luck is on my side :)

right choice?

2010-04-08T01:50:00.002+08:00

I've finally sorted out my thoughts.

If i can get an overseas internship, i will just go for it and not appeal for exchange.

jet and kevin both got aarhus(CONGRATULATIONS!!!) and i don't think i will get anything! should have put lund as first choice hahah, but its alright i guess, cause i just wanted to escape from smu and singapore.

its true that i would love to visit those who are in europe now and i would like to embark on my own exchange too. but, an overseas internship will prob enrich me more, esp since it is of ops mgmt nature. there are many things i have to trade off for this. and i hope i would make the right choice at the end of day.

bless me. well, stay happy :)

end of projects. whee-o-whee!

2010-04-05T19:10:00.002+08:00

submitted my MR report today.

robin and jay both ran like mad so as to get the report in prof's pigeonhole by 5pm sharp. Well, they did it. and i don't think anyone can actually imagine how adrenaline pumping the minutes counting down to 5pm were. We were still adjusting the page numbers at 4.47pm. FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

well, at least a decent report was churned out in the end. good effort by everyone.

ah, with just 3hrs of sleep the night before, i'm beginning to feel the lethargic feeling in my whole body. But, at the very least, i'm really relieved to have finally completed all my projects.

an eventful sem, and probably one with the highest record of overnighters, frustrations and memorable group mates.

thank you my friends, for being here with me on this tumultuous journey and for lending a listening ear to my bitching/complaining. most of all, thanks for the encouragements. wouldn't have made it without you people!! you know who you are.

ok, back to studying. i love reading notes and textbook. :)

starry night

2010-04-03T03:17:00.002+08:00

so last night was starry night. and i got a bit too out of control. the first time i really got drunk and can't control myself, can't remember anything. the feeling totally sucks when you are trying to puke. unglam to the max. but, i seriously just passed out without any warning signs. i didn't even get too high. and boom, i just passed out without realising it. prob it was due to the lack of sleep for the past few days. too tired to start with. :(

ok, no more next time. never.

well, apart from being so drunk, i can still remember supergirls having quite a lot of fun, and yanda and kevin popped by at the later phase. hahaha. good way to escape. :)

isn't it good if all of us have a crazy sides to our normal stressed selves? let's live better from now on.

my last presentation for this sem

2010-04-01T17:41:00.002+08:00

i shall attempt to document my thoughts with the amount of brain cellls i have remaining.

And so, last night, at 11 plus pm, i alerted my team and requested for a total change of a report which is due the following day (aka today) at 3.30pm. This will mean that we basically had to start everything from scratch. courting death, yes. esp when i haven't been getting the best sleeps in the past few days.

and so here i am, after my presentation, which we didn't rehearse for at all, and the slides were only finalised around 5 mins before presentation. cool.

the presentation went alright given the last minute work we did up. and it is really no joke staying up for this, when you feel so stressed and eff-ed up that you can't bear to sleep at all.

and so, i think i should be rewarded with a great starry night later. looking forward to it, supergirls!

my head is spinning

2010-03-31T02:23:00.002+08:00

just submitted my EC report not too long ago.

:) what a huge weight off my chest. time to get some sleep. i'm gonna wake up earlier later to finish my OS report and MR survey analysis.

WHAT A BOOMZ life.

sleep, i need.

2010-03-30T14:24:00.003+08:00

the sleep i got for the past 4 days could most prob add up to only max 12hrs.

plus. its not quality sleep. i'm always stressed and woke up from time to time.

super sleepy now. waiting for thurs to come...

i've never been to me

2010-03-29T04:55:00.000+08:00

?

2010-03-29T04:29:00.003+08:00

If the whole world ask you not to pursue something, what would you do?

If the people around you advise you to thread carefully in life, what would you do?

If you realise you have decided to go forth despite kind advice from people around you, what can you expect?

'one' bears a special meaning now

2010-03-29T02:25:00.001+08:00

i'll be there

2010-03-29T02:10:00.002+08:00

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love
I�ll be there
I�ll reach out my hand to you
I�ll have faith, you know you do
Just call my name
And I�ll be there
I�ll be there to comfort you
I�ll build my world of dreams around you
I�m so glad that I�ve found you
I�ll be there with love that�s strong
I�ll be your strength
I�ll be holding on and on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness
Well that�s all I�m after
Whenever you need me
I�ll be there
(I�ll be there)
I�ll be there to protect you
With a unselfish love, and respect you
Just call my name
I�ll be there
(I�ll be there)
I�ll be there to comfort you
I�ll build my world of dreams around you
I�m so glad that I�ve found you
I�ll be there with love that�s strong
I�ll be your strength
I�ll keep holding on and on
If you should ever find someone new
I know he better be good to you oh
Cos if he doesn�t
Then I�ll be there
(I�ll be there)

This song will keep me company through the night. Somehow, Westlife's cover seems more soothing tonight.

cheers,

you can call me wretch

2010-03-28T05:35:00.003+08:00

i have a wretched life. seriously. looking at my schedule for week 13, i know i cannot afford to fall asleep. s0 here i am, having worked for 12 hrs straight and gonna hang on till monday. i wish that there can be a new invention, of wonder pills that can boost my work performance. something like viagra for men.

two more meetings later, and one whole report to churn out by tomorrow morning. hang on, hang on wretch...

'for most of history, anonymous was a woman'

2010-03-28T03:49:00.002+08:00

how true, that throughout history, women were so slighted and undermined even though they can be smarter and more admirable than men in a lot of ways. i wonder how many great women have lived their lives in vain due to discrimination.

Given the resources that i have, i should not always wallow in self pity. instead, look far, get over the past and move it. move my life.

well, just a passing thought. back to work :(

overnighter

2010-03-27T22:40:00.002+08:00

PULLING AN OVERNIGHTER IN SCHOOL TODAY. sob gsr 3.27 will be my home for tonight.

i'm aiming to complete 80% of my EC report (currently, it stands at 20% completed), and touch on MR report and SPSS analysis, by 7am later. i can do it, won't give up.

peace out.

every woman should

2010-03-27T00:57:00.003+08:00

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own even if she never wants

to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her

dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who

lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a

recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't

take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year..."

— Pamela Redmond Satran

I came across this quote at www.goodreads.com, a website i've been going to these few days, in search of inspiration and issues to ponder about on my way home. Well, i don't believe everything mentioned in this quote, but i guess yeah, the main crux is for a woman to be sure of herself.

my life is boring. how i hope to go back to reading books. just walking through the aisles of kinokuniya or borders. sipping coffee while reading a book on a rainy day and on a comfortable chair/couch.

i guess this will be me when i crumble.

2010-03-26T04:18:00.002+08:00

'remember those walls i built, well baby they are crumbling down, and they didn't even put up a fight, they didn't even make a sound. '

i can't crumble though i think i have the fate an ant, to carry 10-50 times heavier than what i actually can.

well, its actually down to how we see it right? gonna carry on. life gives me shit, i will make chocolate cake out of it.

wondering, wandering.

2010-03-25T17:24:00.002+08:00

rainy days = wild imagination, mind wandering off into the future.

I used to dream about living in the attic, having a comfortable japanese style tatami bed, a huge wooden study table, walk in wardrobe, an awesome reading corner with a white wooden bookshelf and a designer chair. there should be a skylight for me to star gaze at night, and windows big enough to allow the sunlight to shine on my face every morning.

it will be my dream to stay in such a house with my loved ones, and perhaps just spend sundays lying on the bed, reading our favourite books, and listening to our favourite music.

:) back to reality.

when someone can actually pen down how you feel.

2010-03-25T02:51:00.000+08:00

take a bow.

2010-03-25T00:15:00.002+08:00

i'm kinda longing for a break, amidst the nonsensical rush, lack of sleep (even though i might have slept for 10 hrs, but i know its never going to make up for the sleep debt i've incurred).

everyday, i find myself struggling to get up from bed, to face the reality. simply put, there is no motivation, perhaps, other than meeting my friends in school.

but oh well, all these will be over soon, i strongly believe. give me till end of week 13, and by then, i should be able to tell you i'm much more relieved.

To all my friends, this is something i came across, and find it so true:

alrighty, i'm gonna head back to my reports, and perhaps a sleepless night. I really pray that i can wake up for my 12nn class later, cause i missed it last week. i'm guilty, for my prof is very nice.

somehow, i know i will miss this mad rush in the future, and rather than regretting, i should treasure it now.

done with scm! (nah, there's still my part for the report)

2010-03-23T20:31:00.003+08:00

done with scm presentation. crapped my way through without even rehearsing a single bit. shag, my skills are getting lousier. hahaha.

today, we had the last EC class and we got back our mid term results.

i'm very tired from lack of sleep. gonna pull through no matter what and pray that exams will end REAL SOON.

anyway, i was just thinking how sweet it will be if someone can tell you... (不让你的眼睛，再看见人世的伤心）. just trying to be random, yet again :D

ramblings

2010-03-23T03:32:00.002+08:00

there is only this much that one's abilities can be stretched. are you going to settle for less or live a life which you will never regret? look ahead, be sure of what you want. focus and work hard for it, do not be contented with what you have. self improvement can never be sufficient.

what can others have, that you can't have? nothing.

gain weight

2010-03-22T17:44:00.002+08:00

gain weight gain weight.

today, i truly think i'm underweight when i saw myself in the full length mirror. i hope i can recover my love handles, have a slightly bulging tummy and perhaps bigger bust area.

HAHAHA. alrighty. back to work.

the $75 dinner.

2010-03-22T01:11:00.002+08:00

Had dinner with sinyi, cass and jet at a thai food outlet today. according to sinyi, we had 9 dishes+dessert and the total bill was $75. We must have eaten damn a lot. The food was appetizing and great, and it was ultra satisfying.

thanks friends, for this dinner, i truly felt a lot better after having so many good laughs with you all :)

And yes, sinyi, you can really read me like a book. truth to be told, i was quite shocked when you actually answered the question (what was the craziest thing you have ever done?) for me. It certainly didn't cross my mind that you would know, and on hindsight, i think i concur with you.

i'm looking forward to many more dinners with you people. Its always great to mix laughter with nice food. And next time, we can consider having more in depth conversations, rather than the usual sexual ones. haha.

sleeping pattern.

2010-03-21T03:09:00.003+08:00

time to change my sleeping pattern to get more work done.

efficiency is the key.

perhaps i should really try to sync my sleeping hours with that of the rest of the singaporeans. argh, hate it when i feel like i have to complete so much work under a tight schedule.

teach me how? week 12 is here. and everything will be over soon.

peace out.

the emo post

2010-03-19T02:01:00.003+08:00

thanks jet, for dropping by my place and for the cake.

though the emotions in me still stir, i'm glad to have friends like you. And similarly, this goes out to all those who have been kind enough to send me a text! :) greatly appreciated. and don't worry, guys and girls, it won't be long before i regain my happier self :]

Today

2010-03-18T16:08:00.003+08:00

today is one of those days,

where i know that i know i have to skip a class to avoid a breakdown in school.

where my tears are my best friends,

the rain and gloomy clouds understand me the best,

and my bed is my only comforting hideout.

where my iphone is the only one which has never failed me,

and i know my favourite songs will never ever judge me.

the tree is the only living thing which will never doubt me,

and smiling is just a facade to prevent my friends from worrying.

maybe its due to the buildup from 6 semesters of school, especially when last sem and this sem have been real challenging. or perhaps, due to a multitude of other factors, other aspects of life. I'm sick of explaining and convincing in a world where nobody seems to be able to comprehend me.

perhaps its just me.

don't worry, i'm not suicidal.

2010-03-17T23:46:00.001+08:00

SO FUCKING STRESSED THAT I'M GOING TO DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR.

heartstrings

2010-03-16T18:16:00.003+08:00

have you ever felt like there's something tugging at your heartstrings? I feel it all day. A bad omen or simply just an impending heart attack? haha. in any case, it makes me feel uneasy all day.

week 11 sets in, and there comes week 12 and 13 where the project reports are due and presentations will take place.

phew.

anyway, i realised why i'm always emo. its the songs i'm listening to. think elton john, whitney houston, dan hill, celine dion.

from now on

2010-03-15T03:16:00.001+08:00

from now on, i will keep to my own business and not meddle in politics or any one else's issues.

arghhh, leash up the meddlesome me pls.

stay neutral, girl.

my long term goal

2010-03-12T02:00:00.002+08:00

i've always known that my long term goal will be to be the change i want to see in the world, to one day, promote a cause that i firmly believe in. To one day, travel the globe and see for myself, the brutalities people are experiencing. To stand up for myself, for what i believe in, and be able to make an impact the lives of others. Even if it means i have to do all these alone.

the link which sinyi posted reinforced my ideals: http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/02/02/ensler.TED.talk.girl.power/index.html

Perhaps the only thing i am still unsure of will be what to do before that. My short and medium goals. Time to think about them, after my dream to be an events manager shattered after internship.

what does it mean to you?

2010-03-10T01:58:00.002+08:00

Friendship, you can't hug it and declare that you love it. You can't touch it, see it, or smell it.

Despite the fact that we don't meet up that often, don't talk over the phone everyday, or we might just check on each other only once in a few weeks/months, you can always feel it and know that somehow its always there.

Friendships come and go, yes they do.

But somehow or the other, you are sure that they will always be back, giving you all the strength that you need.

2010-03-09T03:46:00.002+08:00

the shit never stops coming.

endless rush for projects, admin matters.

this sem, my projects all seem to be delayed or backlogged in some ways or another. i think i will be engulfed with work and sleepless nights in the coming weeks. cheers to everyone whos in the same shit as me.

i'm already stressed out enough. please, don't let anything happen anymore. come share my burden instead.

misunderstood

2010-03-07T01:54:00.002+08:00

being misunderstood is my life, as much as i hate to admit. the feeling sucks and no one can understand this better than i myself do.

yes, miss misunderstood is gonna move on in life regardless of what you think.

things i can do in summer

2010-03-06T16:01:00.003+08:00

here are some things that i will set out to achieve over summer, somethings that i can look forward to, hopefully:

1) learn how to skate, and if this is successful, possibly ice skate too!

2) learn how to cook (proper meals)

3) MASTER PARALLEL PARKING. this is something i've always hope to be able to do. i have been looking forward to the day when i can parallel park at geylang, my hometown.

4) if i have enough time, i will learn how to bake (properly) and knit!

ok, thats all to make my life more wholesome.

149 days

2010-03-05T02:27:00.002+08:00

149 days.

actually, a very small part of me feels that bit of relief cause the day has finally arrived for us to start the countdown.

well, make the best out of everything, shall we?

i know we will get by.

thanks friends for the constant checks and encouragements ;)

2010-03-04T14:14:00.000+08:00

this sem can just be my worst in smu thus far.

no motivation and i feel like i'm falling apart. come on, i've got to move these.

2010-03-02T17:06:00.000+08:00

get a grip on yourself, shi hui!

post cny

2010-02-18T00:55:00.002+08:00

this year's cny was rather disappointing. no festive mood and house visits seemed like routine. oh well, cny is really a children's festival.

after cny, we are back to face reality. i've got projects to do but this sem, i'm really not motivated at all. perhaps i'm really tired from the past 2.5 years of smu life. kevin might be right. ive chosen the wrong time to slack and rest.

DARN.

3.33am

2010-02-11T03:29:00.002+08:00

look at the time, peeps.

i'm just done with editing an ops strat report. And i'm very depressed by the quality of work submitted. it is still around 50% incomplete, and i pray that my groupmates will get back to me fast so that at least, i can fill in the holes when i'm in my MR class tml.

Talking about MR, i've got to go complete my MR project proposal now, and i've got to meet my groupmates at 1030am later. looks like i dont have to sleep already.

and, thanks to all these other things, i realised i'm not started on marketing research yet. oh god, mid term is saturday. thanks.

17.7

2010-02-09T02:15:00.003+08:00

my BMI is 17.7. my mother just told me this afternoon that i look like a ghost with my sunken cheeks. I looked into the mirror and disagreed with her. But i do agree that my eyes are obviously deprived of adequate rest, and a proper sleep cycle.

damn. i feel like a 50 year old with a slightly underweight BMI and poor appetite, plus, highly stressed, with all the shit piling on me at one go.

doesn't life sucks?

jokes?

2010-02-07T01:13:00.001+08:00

tell me a joke. make me laugh.

on a saturday.

2010-02-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

wretch wrenched, wretched...

week 6, yr3sem2

2010-02-04T04:08:00.002+08:00

a peek into the happenings in week 6.

1) MR mid term on saturday (friggin' eve of cny)

2) presentation on tues (EC)

3) meetings with EC client

4) submission of MR project proposal on thursday

5) scm video vault case due

6) ops strat eli lilly case due

phewww. perhaps, not as taxing as kevin's. haha

my hand

2010-01-29T02:27:00.002+08:00

my blog is boring.

i don't know what to write. perhaps i should just tell everyone once and for all how i hurt my hand.

i was playing the floorball ivp. and, i simply placed my right hand on the floor to shift to the left. but, my thumb just gave way and flipped backwards. it sorta turned jelly. and i was rather freaked out, cause it was the first time i experienced such an awkward situation. immediately, i raised up my right hand at the referee (who also happens to be a goalkeeper), and signalled to her that i'm in dire need of a timeout. and so, i went out and as i had no substitute, i had to continue playing after dennis taped up my hand and spammed pain relief spray on my injured area.

and so, that was the last ivp game, possibly the last of my smu career.

groans

2010-01-26T03:53:00.002+08:00

i'm really tired mentally and i believe that my body is breaking down due to irregular sleeping hours.

time to hit the bed.

time to start sourcing for an internship actively.

ahead of time

2010-01-22T00:06:00.003+08:00

and now, i shall attempt to summarise my life within this small space of my own, which i've neglected.

and from11th-18th Jan, i was real busy in participating in ivp. totally got sucked into it and felt as if my life revolved around it.I sort of neglected my academics and allowed my lethargic-ness get the better of me. missed classes. it doesn't help that my last ivp didn't end in a glorious and satisfying way. Instead, i got myself injured mysteriously (dislocated my thumb), and resulted in my team's terrible defeat due to my inability to keep properly. how sad to end your floorball career this way, without any result proud enough to speak of. maybe i should just forget about it and move on in life...

and talking about academics. i'm finding it hard to find my momentum this semester. All 4 of my profs are rather boring,maybe my EC prof a side, but yeah. difficult to concentrate and get into the mode of studying. But, i'm trying real hard now. and i'm almost 40% there, before i get ahead of my classes. i must treasure the limited undergrad life i have remaining. i don't want to end up rolling on the floor with regrets.

recently, a number of people have been asking me what i'm gonna do when i graduate (yes, cass, you included). i told them i have no idea. Loserish, i know, when i'm only like one year from graduation and will have a hefty sum of debt to clear. i hope that i can find a way out real soon. but its not going to be easy, especially after i just dropped my aspiration to have an events company after undergoing so much in my internship. right now, i only know that i want a career with prospects and good salary, preferably soft skills based, like consultation? anw, planning too much won't help. Life's too full of uncertainties.

dum-dee-dum.

i've scaled down my list of possible universities to 5. Austria, Germany, Sweden, Denmark and Finland. All will cost me a bomb, but i guess, anywhere in europe will kill my savings. i will just take it as a trade off for safety? haha.. i will prob be done with my exchange worksheets by this weekend. i haven't rank the 5 unis yet as i'm thinking of choosing them base on the courses they offer. but mannheim of germany has a really superb campus :D

first post of 2010

2010-01-13T01:25:00.002+08:00

i realised i haven't been blogging. not even before i left for taiwan, not even after i came back from taiwan, and not even to celebrate the new year.

i'm terribly sorry for the lack of updates. the future me will suffer from a memory loss due to irregular updates. hahah..

taiwan was pretty fun. my 2nd time there, but somehow, i seemed to have forgotten what i went through over there on my 1st visit. Everything seemed like new to me, even though i know that somewhere deep inside my brain, i've vague impressions. And so, my first moments of 2010 were spent in one of the night markets of Taichung and the people there are real crazy. Just lighting up fireworks and firecrackers on the streets to welcome the new year. all in all, the trip was good as i got to spend time with my family ;)

school started for me two days after i returned to singapore. This sem seems quite relaxing with a two days week. But oh my, back to back lesson can be quite a killer when the profs are boring. Work is starting to pile up and we have reports to write and due in week 3 already! -.-

right now, i guess all my heart and soul is invested into IVP, hoping to win a medal in what seems to be my last IVP. or at least, the last time i could play with a team i could call, my own.

well, back to videos and applying for exchange! will update more on my exchange application as time goes by ok? ;)

dec 2009

2009-12-20T03:27:00.003+08:00

somehow, blogging seems like a tedious process this dec. but i must make it a point to note down my feelings for future references.

and so, this dec has been a rather fruitful one where i got to catch up with friends whom i can't meet during school term, but who are always by my side. Attend trainings and realise how lousy i am, and just simply chill and relax during the little free time i have. i treasure these times. and, i am happy with whatever i have now, whatever new emotions i encounter.

lets hope next sem will be a smooth one.

dec hols?

2009-12-14T01:01:00.002+08:00

results are out. i'm just glad that my gpa didn't dip further this sem!

a lot of ideas, worries are floating in my mind. its a hard-to-rest dec.

F it

2009-12-11T01:05:00.001+08:00

away till thurs

2009-12-08T02:33:00.001+08:00

feels like i havent been updating this space for ages.

was away at floorball camp from 4th-6th and the fb pictures can tell you how it turned out :)

i will be going away from 8th to 10th to bintan! i hope that my mummy's health will improve when im away!

shii and disgusting product

2009-11-29T01:42:00.001+08:00

rush hour

2009-11-28T02:44:00.002+08:00

literally.

i always thought that my pm report can be completed way before time. but prof's decision to have the report submission to be in week 15 proved to be somewhat disastrous. i thought the edit will be rather smooth. but alas, it wasn't. In the end, apart from editing till 4 plus am in the morning, me and sinyi had to rush it out this afternoon. and believe me, the last one hour to the 5pm deadline was deadly. it almost caused heart attack as we tried to manage with efficiency. booo.

luckily, the guys managed to deliver the report at around 5.05pm and the other files were still there. phew.

and so, i left straight after the guys were sent off to deliver the report to prof's pigeon hole. was meeting marcus for the movie, Mulan at the Cathay. The movie was great! apart from my infatuation with the theme song, i thought the storyline was delivered well, and the lead actress, Zhao Wei, was quite good too. The war scenes somesort of impacted me too.

alrights, im off... its a busy busy DEC HOLIDAY

...

2009-11-26T12:38:00.002+08:00

MY EXAMS. ENDED

whirlpool

2009-11-24T20:52:00.003+08:00

總裝著很有把握　不准愛滲入生活

才發現闖了禍　讓你當真以為我的心上了鎖

讓你絕望地走　成全獨立的我

好想摀住耳朵　不想不看不想聽誰說

好想蹲在角落　把譴責的眼光都躲過

像個黑色漩渦　將我吞沒　悔恨已逃不脫

我承認這都是我　感情事處理得不妥

從不說　我愛你

那麼多

somehow, this song matches my past experience perfectly. way too perfect.

i think stef sun performed better live though, if not for the lousy sound system for making her voice muffled .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4HwUI3DyHU&NR=1

tuesdayayyhkrjg

2009-11-24T16:15:00.003+08:00

i finally finished the HBR readings which i was supposed to do for my SP exam. goshhh.. i took like more than one day to finish 4 articles? damn...

moving on to the textbook now.. hope its a lot more readable and interesting :) exam is on thursday and i hope i can finish two chapters by today... haha overly ambitious again.. woots :P

haha.. tina didnt bathe for more than 24 hrs and she is sitting beside me now.. haahah.. but its ok. she still looks as gorgeous with her eyeliner, that is. hahahahahahah.. (ps, you can ctrl+f and find your name!)

interesting quotes

2009-11-23T23:39:00.002+08:00

against all odds

2009-11-23T21:01:00.003+08:00

So take a look at me now

'Cause there's just an empty space

There's nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

So take a look at me now

'Cause there's just an empty space

And you coming back to me, is against the odds

And that's what I've got to faceeeee

I wish I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry

There's so much I need to say to you

So many reasons why

You're the only one

Who really knew me at all

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't think too much, just a heart wrenching song which i thought i should share.

Ethics today was quite bad. didnt manage to finish the paper and left half a question untouched. But anyways, its over, and i'm glad that i do not have to deal with corp like the others. really relieved that i made the choice to do marketing and ops mgmt as i do enjoy these two majors better! :D

In any case, i've got to focus on sp now, the module which i know nothing about. Got to start from scratch from now till thursday! wootssss tired... with slightly more than 2hrs of sleep last night.

start of exams

2009-11-22T23:47:00.003+08:00

ethics in less than 9hrs' time!

hope to get over it soon and get started on SP right away. Oh god, i know the importance of ethics, but is it really necessary to have a final exam worth 50% for it?

sigh.. i was thinking through the happenings this sem and i realised how many lessons i've skipped.. i'm bound to get bad grades and pull down my gpa even further, which i hate to do.

nevermind, ive still got some time left to salvage it.. BLESS ME!

lionel's astrology chart

2009-11-21T01:56:00.002+08:00

what lionel found out about me after obtaining my birth date and time!:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you have an eye for detail and good powers of discrimination. Your intellectual ability, loyalty, honesty, flair for analysis, and love of work marks you as an expert in your chosen profession. A sense of harmony comes from doing something useful, preferably for others. Although you give the impression of being emotional, reserved and cool, in reality you have a kind heart and a real sense of serv

in reality you have a kind heart and a real sense of service - more so than most! Hygiene in all things is another strong point.

Likely occupations are all professions related to writing, scientific work, psychology, or all businesses dependent upon analysis.

a quiet, retiring, easy-going, super-sensitive, poetic and mild emotional nature. You can be restless, easily depressed, changeable, irresolute and easily discouraged by obstacles and opposition

To some degree you lack a matter-of-fact, practical and common-sense approach to life - by temperament, you are more emotional than intellectual.

Psychic ability is indicated and you may be drawn to subjects such as religion, mysticism and spiritual growth. Music, poetry and romantic literature will have a soothing and therapeutic effect upon your inner self. Easily hurt, you seek emotional security through periods of peace and seclusion.

your personality drive will mainly be directed into the creation of personal wealth, with an emphasis on financial security. A strong desire for material possessions is a dominant motivating factor in your life. You are very sensible with money and, unless very careless, should always be comfortably off.

your feeling, instinctive nature will find expression through some form of emotional attachment to social, ethical or religious values. You have an inherent need to expand your life through travel, study, philosophy and the search for metaphysical truths. Practical knowledge is often obtained through dreams or meditation. Your day-to-day response to circumstance is strongly conditioned

conditioned by spiritual or ethical values.

intelligent, strong, versatile and analytical mind with great powers to attend to detail. You have a good memory and the ability to think practically and constructively. Your mental disposition is well-suited to demanding intellectual work and you may find success in fields such as science, teaching, administration or in jobs requiring detailed analytical ability.

There is some predisposition to nervous excitement, headaches and needless worry over trivial matters

very sensitive, warm-hearted, protective, affectionate and deeply emotional romantic nature. For general well-being and emotional security you require a safe home and a loving family. In romance, your super-sensitive feelings are vulnerable to the least slight - you are very fragile in this area, thus easily hurt.

Your lack of romantic self-confidence requires that your partner demonstrates constant affection and devotion. Your moodiness, sentimentality and tendency to sulk could present some problems, but on the whole, you are the ideal marriage partner in that you cherish your home and family, seeking a stable and affectionate domestic life.

you assert yourself in a forceful, courageous, aggressive, competitive, independent, positive, enterprising and self-assured manner.

Primarily, these qualities are used for personal goals that serve your own ego needs. You desire to make a mark on the world, and cut your own path in life. There is an incessant drive for action and accomplishment.

You find it easy to take the initiative and motivate others to 'get things done . Many projects are started but only a few are successfully completed.

There is a love of sport and other physical games. On occasion you can be impatient, aggressive and quick-tempered. The sex urge is strong, driven by powerful emotional passion. Good lovemaking requires that you feel dominant and in total control.

On the negative side, you can be finicky, worried over trivia, highly strung, inhibited and unable to relax or relate to others in a balanced way. Your main task is one of overcoming hypercriticism and learning to relax in order to rule out any possibility of nervous or physical strain.

(some birth signs) gives you the opportunity to study and intellectually comprehend subjects such as religion, law, philosophy and other higher educational subjects. This quality is necessary in order to expand your personality and life experience.

Your wide range of mental interests will attract many friends who help to broaden your scope of knowledge, leading you into new and unusual subjects. Success is achieved by communicating such knowledge to others - writing, teaching and lecturing.

A second string income may come through business interests related to publishing, travel, broadcasting and telecommunications.

In order to succeed in your social position in the world you will have to gain understanding and expertise associated with intellectual matters, truth and knowledge - perhaps through philosophy, religion, law or other profound subject of higher education.

You should structure your approach to life using sound moral precepts and constructive, honourable and just social values. Life experience will force you to learn valuable lessons related to the above issues.

Through diligent effort and achievement you may gain distinction and become a recognised authority within your chosen field of endeavour.

Those born in this generation have the ability to receive intuitively from the planetary mind new philosophical directions and new horizons for society's moral behavior. Disruption occurs in hanging on to belief systems and moral attitudes that justify old social behaviors.

This generation should represent quite a reaction against the previous one. These children will probably idealize work, thrift, practicality and duty rather than the abstract spiritual ideals of the preceding generation. However, they may not be very effective in dealing with practical principles, which may decline considerably, simply because this generation does not deal with them in its daily lives.

Your mental and communicative abilities will largely be applied to gaining superior intellectual ability, through education, travel and philosophical debate. An original thinker with much mental agility you excel in speaking, writing and communicating generally. This is a strong placing for Mercury and if mental power is directed to defined objectives then much success can be attained in any chosen direction.

With Jupiter in the Ninth House you will find luck, ease of working and general good fortune coming through the study of psychology, religion, philosophy and other profound subjects.

Possessing good intuition, clear foresight, breath of vision and a peaceful, logical and optimistic disposition, you could achieve honour and distinction in religious, intellectual, academic, legal, philosophic or philanthropic affairs.

There is likely to be much travel and deep study of foreign cultures. This will serve to expand your intellectual perspective.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think its 95% true... ;) but anyway, i'm lost in my own personality and i can't really judge myself..

why are good guys g*y

2009-11-21T01:18:00.000+08:00

super hot

2009-11-20T15:21:00.000+08:00

especially the one on the right :D

heaven

2009-11-20T14:02:00.003+08:00

how nice it will be to have a direct route to heaven. just climb the stairs, and there, you've reached.

skeptical

2009-11-20T02:00:00.003+08:00

guys, seriously.. do you think the content of this video speaks for you?

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1268119589818&ref=mf

i did paste this link to some of my guy friends, and only kevin said that its not really true and its prob written by an mcp, but most others tell me it is true.. haha.. if it is, then its just plain scary how different guys and girls think.

and, i recovered a website which my friend sent to me previously about mens' pov.

http://www.barstoolsports.com/article/platonic_friendship_such_thing/3077/

interesting.

pretty flowers

2009-11-19T22:20:00.002+08:00

today has been a relatively productive day. but somehow, i feel that i'm wasting my time studying for ethics. haahh..

anyway, while listening to my collection of music today, i suddenly came across a song which i paid particular attention instantly. i remembered that jet sent me the song rather long ago but somehow i didnt manage to catch on the lyrics of the song.

its quite a customised song for marriage and makes me wonder when i will have the chance to sing it. haha

SR

2009-11-19T15:28:00.003+08:00

the SOB SR is really a better place to study. contrary to what i have expected.

Here, people really do concentrate on their work and are afraid to create noise for fear of disturbing others terribly. the only negative point will be the frequent sounds of the door banging.

oops, i witness someone digging his nose passionately again!

ok back to studying ethics

i need to study

2009-11-18T22:22:00.002+08:00

the lib is so blardy noisy with people giggling. i admit i do giggle though, but there's a limit.

it doesnt mean you are year 4,and come to the library in a big group and you are handed the rights to make noise. consideration for others is key.

these past two days in school have been unproductive. perhaps due to distraction. i don't know, but i am not performing to as much as i should. i can feel it. argh.

lets hope tml will not be wasted!

i think babies really make me high like nothing else. simply google 'baby studying' or 'adorable baby' and the results can change your day for the better.ie, if you like babies..

apartheid

2009-11-17T10:40:00.002+08:00

the silent force that accounts for the major differences in human rights and treatments. we are lucky to be on the advantageous end.

whats happening to those on the opposite end? we will never know given the media censorship.

one day, i'll find out.

look at the time, and i'm in school !:)

2009-11-17T08:10:00.003+08:00

reached school at around 7.30am and here i am, starting my day with a blog post to commemorate this special day where i woke up early to study.

i have wasted two days (sunday and monday) hibernating at home and come to reinforce my belief that i can only waste time at home.

and so, since i couldnt fall asleep, i got out of home at 6 plus am and effortlessly took bus 80 to the train station. everything was beautiful, the air was fresh, the people were smiley and friendly, and i didnt have to run for the packed train. i started with an inspirational song on my iphone- just stand up, followed by my daily dose of Westlife. So, everything went really fantastic until i reached the train station and people who didnt bother to bathe in the morning started flooding in all directions, and woooooooowwwwwww, was i blown away by the smell. seriously, there's no racism of any sense over here, cause some singaporeans, in fact, don't bother to bathe in the morning and they have no idea how the smell lingers in an air conditioned area.. :( for, i do smell myself when i dont bathe after training or after i pull an overnighter in school, and i am apologetic.. hahah

ok, and i came to the library, and to my horror, some daring people actually left ALL their belongings overnight in a bid to chope seats. and yes, the lib was packed by 7.30am. i went for breakfast alone to enjoy the serenity of the morning and to eavesdrop on the aunty's jokes.. hahahaah..

i shall adopt this routine for the entire week (as what i told clive) as it seems quite healthy and happy for me ;)

back to ethics!! i'm ethical, i'm ethical.

steamboattt

2009-11-16T04:30:00.002+08:00

its almost 5am and here i am with my screwed up bodyclock..

i'm still amazingly awake now probably due to the ample rest i had the whole of sunday. now i guess i'm ready to charge through exams..

had steamboat dinner with the supergirls (missing sandy) at chong qing@ liang seah st.. the food was much better than the one we went to last time! and the service is much better, food is always topped up and there's free flow of drinks.. haha..

had a 5hr HTHT session where we basically just shared our lives and this really brought us closer. sort of broke down the barrier.. i didn't feel that time actually passed so fast.. should have more of these sessions in the future..:)

ok.. will spend the remaining hour and whatever energy i have left synchronising my iphone so that i won't zhng it again in the coming week and just focus on studying for ethics and service processes:)

the end?

2009-11-14T16:38:00.003+08:00

knocked out at 8pm last night till 9plus am this morning, after an overnighter in school till 5pm the next day. woots... the end of ldm.. the end of the module which project is worth 40% of the entire grade.

and i bought my iphone! hahah! black and sinyi claimed that i'm treating it like a family treasure. Its very true as i dont think i can afford a new phone already.. haahha..

the weather today is great for sleeping.. a pity that i'm in school and syncing and downloading apps into my iphone. a day of slacking, grant me that :)

live update

2009-11-11T12:25:00.001+08:00

i'm going up for my last presentation this sem soon. lets hope all go well and i don't get messed up by myself. stay calm calm calm....

PHEW

undefeated

2009-11-09T01:21:00.002+08:00

SMU FOXES, CHAMPIONSSS!

phew, an unforgettable league which lasted 14 weeks or so. made us spend numerous weekends at Tampines Sports Hall, made us put in so much effort for.

and finally, we are able to taste the fruits of our labour now.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, my friend.

the final (heart thumping moments) of the game, the final blow of the whistle, the euphoria of winning all matched up nicely to a perfect season.

i'm really happy that we really played like a team in this last game.

possibly my last div 2. and a good ending at that :)

for myself, this league has been a pretty terrible one due to the number of stupid goals i've conceded. I've never failed to chastise myself for every single goal. and oh my, some of them are still etched in my mind now.

nonetheless, we are still the best div 2 team, who has been undefeated for 2 seasons. how great a fact is that? ;)

argh

2009-11-08T04:16:00.002+08:00

still in sch, in lunchtalk room with sinyi and cass' cat group and yanda!

going home now.. really tired.. can't think straight..

instead of feeling excited, im feeling really pressured by the match later! a decider which will really decide on whether we will promote and win the league. lets hope everyone (including myself) will be super on form tml.

all the best to the team!

sinyi and her scandal

2009-11-08T01:15:00.001+08:00

accidentally found this video back again

2009-11-07T02:21:00.001+08:00

yours truly

2009-11-06T19:58:00.003+08:00

This video is extremely funny and good to start my day with.. haha!!

oh and yeah, i forgot to mention that the picture in my previous post is something which i koped from Sinyi's blog (who, ironically,

does not have THUNDER THIGHS), as i could totally identify myself with the content. ahaah

and yeah, week12 has ended and i'm so blardy relieved. im sorry, but blardy is really the best word to describe the whole SAGA.

having lived on an average of 2hrs+ of sleep every day the past week is indeed no joking matter. i seriously look damn cui

every day, but somehow, fulfilling. but now, im going to promise myself that this scenario is never going to happen again.

Finding good groupmates is a must from now on, and being prepared in advance is the key:)

and so, after training last night, i just knocked out on my bed (after bathing, of course) and slept from 2am to

(tada~) 5.50pm today. indeed, ive paid off my sleep debt and here i am, sitting here with my eyes wide open.

BUT, my dark eye rings still prominent. someone pls teach me how to remove these ugly stuff. save me from eye cream

though cause ive bought several tubes, but used none. hahah. a lazy woman is an ugly one (True enough)

i still have one more ethics presentation, pm, ethics, ldm reports to write, and i'm pretty done with the most exciting

ever, year 3 sem 1. i dont wanna graduate.

and here's a video dedicated to all my friends, floorballers, foxes, super girls, all my regular project mates,

all smu friends... (need to mention cass here so that when she cltrl+f, she can find her name)

AHAH.. simply love this version! (ps all the best to those whose hell week has just broken loose)

im normal

2009-11-05T10:55:00.000+08:00

just some frustration(s)

2009-11-04T14:14:00.002+08:00

i don't remember myself being so angry and pissed, for a long long time.

i'm not talking about being pissed with myself like for performing badly in a game. but more of the pissed off feeling when someone breaks his promises, and fail you again and again till you totally changed your perception of someone.

and yeah, no one has made me this pissed off till i can't find the energy to force a smile anymore.

i'm going to (shamelessly) admit that i'm a good natured person. too nice at times. i dare not make enemies and tries to make people around me happy with me.

and whats the use of this all when people don't give a f**k of how you feel, of how much they troubled you, and not to mention, appreciate the kindness and tolerance shown to them?

i know i'm a bitch. but there is a limit to my patience. really.

my friends always tell me that they do not wish to see my angry side. and yes, now i have a tinge of how it will be when i really erupt into anger. it will be scary, something which i can't control too.

losing is a feeling i hate to experience. i've not lost in ages and having to lose twice in a single mod destroys me.

on a side note. BOSS results' out. i only got 3 mods. gonna clear the remaining two mktg modules on exchange and in yr4sem2 (if i ever go on exchange). should be doing one GE or strat or , an om mod.

chao.

WEEK 12

2009-11-03T03:08:00.003+08:00

my 2nd night in school and i have a presentation later at 12.

this morning i just went home at 7 after toiling a night in school.

my 3rd night in school will be tonight, for SP Sands presentation. 4th night will be spent in school on thurs night for ethics presentation due next week and because the other members are tiongs, who submitted not-so-useful works.

my life is so shingz and i'm just glad that i have a number of friends who are in the same boat. i guess we can just be happy that the school is not charging us any money for staying overnight.

boomz.

week 11

2009-10-31T00:06:00.002+08:00

i'm kinda looking forward to my weekend.

Saturday might be packed with meetings from 10am to 10pm.

Sunday might star a stressful game with blacks and returning to school thereafter to follow up with my project reports and presentations.

But, yeah. i'm set on accomplishing all my objectives in my three meetings. and this weekend might well be my most productive one.

all the best everyone!

so many things to do, to worry about

2009-10-29T18:39:00.000+08:00

FML

hell weeks set in

2009-10-27T13:08:00.002+08:00

week 12 : Tues- LDM presentation+ report, Wed-SP Presentation+ Report, Thurs-Possible PM Presentation

Week 13: Wed-Ethics presentation+report, Wed-SP Major project Presentation

Week 15: Submission of PM report

i'm just reminding myself, cause i might just suffer from a burnout and forget all my deadlines. This might be my most hectic sem in SMU where everything is really crammed together.

Give me some breathing space man! but from now till end of week 13, i will basically MIA. only my project group members will see me.

you're not alone

2009-10-22T01:52:00.003+08:00

something happened today which really traumatised me. i had better not blog about it and try to let time erase this piece of memory.

i cried everytime i recount the incident to my friends and my mum. i even cried to myself in the cubicle. loserish. haha.. but yeah, my friends' concerns really made my day and i feel blessed. thanks to all :)

after every training, i seriously feel like an old lady. and, now that my joints hurt and my pinky and thumb is injured, i feel like taking a long rest to heal them.. if not i wonder what i will do if i can't grab and hold in the future.

haiz.. and as the sem draws nearer to the end, i feel quite sad in one corner of my heart. next sem, all (but cons and me) of my batch of floorball girls will be flying for exchange. how i wish that i can fly off too.. school is stressing me out.. nevermind, i shall look forward to an adventure of my own come year 4 sem 1:)

when i can take it no more

2009-10-18T01:09:00.002+08:00

silent cries at night which you don't hear.

i'm beginning to feel as if i'm wearing a mask everyday, trying hard to play my part. yes, i'm that lonely soul who doesnt care what you think actually. i live in my own world, compelled to smile and comply.

for that silent cries won't reach you as long as the mask stays on. who knows when it will be removed and what will happen to that soul underneath the shield.

wednesday, ethics day

2009-10-14T09:32:00.003+08:00

i feel like flipping through the encyclopedia of vulgarities to pick one best vocab to describe my feeling now.

i spent 3 hrs coughing in bed last night before i actually slept for one hour plus. damn freaking tired now and here i am, in my 830 ethics class where the prof is talking about redundant stuff. my time can surely be spent better elsewhere.

so yesterday was my first (academic) day of week 9 and everything went well, except that i still havent class parted. damn. sinyi was/is right, i should stop feeling sorry for myself!

edwin once again didnt manage to attend pm class despite having taken drastic measures.. ahahaha. and so, for the first time in 9 weeks, sinyi and i spent the 1.5hrs talking about tattoos and other random stuff. talking crap, chilling out with friends really makes me feel better spiritually.

on a side note, while on the bus yesterday, something really caught my attention. just a few days ago, i was lamenting about my fat calves and how sorry i felt for myself. however, when i saw the calves of the women sitting opposite me on the bus today. i realised mine aint that bad. at least its average. try paying more attention to women's calves next time round ;)

101

2009-10-12T01:31:00.003+08:00

i'm irritated with my performance on court today. totally because i'm not focused. i think i will just break down if this happens for the next game, against RP Adriots. oh wells, its over, and i've got to agree that despite the scoreline, we did lose to supernova completely.

argh, whenever i think of all the floorball admin stuff to settle, and the week 10 ldm quiz and work experience presentation, ethics paper, sp projects, pm project, i really feel like escaping all together. i need to get my act together man.

I CAN DO IT!

oh.. and i need to watch paperheart and learn the meaning of love. cause to me, its seems really impossible to find love. perhaps i don't actually know what it is right from the start.

oh, and marcus is so funny.. look at this cert that he made up :)

this marks 100th

2009-10-10T00:30:00.003+08:00

as i sit and stare into the future, i realised how bleak it seems, how uncertain. my life seems to be affected by so many events and decisions that i don't know where i'm heading to.

ever since i've relinquished myself of the tiring events mgmt internship, i've promised myself that i will not go into this line ever again. a job which will soon suck my soul and life out of me and devoid me of life's pleasures. and boom! there goes my ambition.

indeed, i've stepped into university dreaming that 4 years later, i will have my own events mgmt company, not realising the shit it entails. and as i look back, the ambitions i once held are also no longer feasible.

strange enough, my dad actually went to a fortune teller in china (who is supposed to be spot on) to check whats my future like. he told me its not that bad, at least i will get a job and marry at 27/28. hahah.. this didnt ease my worries.

i have to find myself, in this turmoil of uncertainty.

on a lighter note, week 8 has just gone by in a flash again. I've spent most of my time with the floorballers. its strange that its always the few of us who turn up for club gatherings.. really strange.. how i wish everyone will soon find their devotion to the club.

oh and recently, i find myself being asked by a number of (different) people on my past and questioning why i'm so secretive.. HAHAHA.. indeed i am. perhaps its just because i don't like to share my life that much and that i don't think anyone will be able to share in my problems, so telling will only weaken myself. morbid hur. but yeah, even my family members don't know much about me.. so if you think you do, good for you ;)

99th post

2009-10-07T01:42:00.003+08:00

this video was forwarded to me by sin yi, and its really quite funny:

i seriously didn't go youtube it. haha..

went for training today and realised i really am quite lazy. jo and loi were correct. i don't usually move my body, and am not fast at it. haiz.. i've still got a lot more to learn dude..

we are already halfway into mid term week and i have done absolutely nothing. shag-a-lausai.

ok. i promise the 100th post will be more interesting than this.. haha!

5/10/09

2009-10-05T20:50:00.002+08:00

the flash mob which gave the idea to OPRAH + BEP's MEGA FLASH MOB:

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=2XHN2ADS

so last night was supergirls' 'girls night out'. we really didn't gossip much since we knew each others' secrets. perhaps we are only waiting for sinyi to share her darkest secrets with us ;) (hint intended)

and sigh, my cough is making me sound so huskyyy.... like a dog.

oh! and last match with ntu was the foxes' second clean sheet together! lets hope we can maintain this for the remaining matches, then we will be on top ;) of the table, of course...

cute baby

2009-10-02T16:15:00.001+08:00

awesome flash mob :)

2009-10-02T01:53:00.000+08:00

you will not regret watching this

lets get it started

2009-10-02T01:42:00.002+08:00

Week 8 signifies a time of change.

a change where i know i have to make in due time.

BE PUNCTUAL.

With the start of school, i will promise to not miss any more lessons

and i will give my very best in my studies, projects and cca.

a promise that i will hold myself to.

enough of emo-ing. lets get it started.

just stand up

2009-09-30T13:53:00.004+08:00

i'm back after so long. somehow, i didn't feel the urge to blog about my life until now.

Now, when i am halfway through my Service Processes lesson.

And so, my past weeks have been quite monotonous, nothing special for me to exclaim, no shoutouts that i need to do. Just, perhaps, cooped up emotions, usual worrying which i wish i can be relieved of. Life is a misery sometimes, isn't it?

I've just finished my SP presentation. The 1st presentation after soooo long. It was easy to present and i didn't rehearse for it as this project was finalised really at the last minute. I stayed up till 5am to compile the report. And yet, we lost to the other team. They are admittedly better, in terms of content. oh well. what can i say. i hate to lose?

and argh yeah, the topic of class participation. the need to speak up. i still havent done it after 7 weeks. argh. somehow, whatever i want to say just seems weird to ask/mention at the point of time. never mind. week 8 will be a fresh start.

for now, i will just want to focus on clearing my mountain of work: projects, papers. and week 8 will be gone in a flash.

On a happier note, heard from cass not long ago that she has passed her driving test with 18 points. haha.. not chao geng enough.. hehehe... good job there and from now on, we can go car racing yeah!

oh yeah, and i was really thinking of africa for the great escape! but, we will all need to acquire medical knowledge first before embarking on the journey. if not, we will be as useless as a housefly. if not, perhaps backpacking the whole of china seems fun too. haha .. just random ideas..

oh well, i need sleep.........