freaked out

i really need to get some work done after having slacked through tues and wed afternoons and nights. with CB quiz, nego essay, cb project, bp project 2,mpw readings and project coming my way, i really cant afford to slack anymore, unless i'm subconsicously wishing for sleepless nights in the following weeks.

just some thoughts sharing here.

on my way home yesterday, i was suddenly stricken with fear when i worried about how i will fare in my internship. i was lucky to have gotten the internship as i had all along wanted to do an events mgmt internship and hopefully, when i graduate, set up an events mgmt company on my own after a few years of working in some random company. i need a dynamic job. not a 9 to 5 job that will strap me down to my seat. however, my internship period totally sucks. it will start one day after my last paper, aka 21st april, and will only end on 15th august, two days before school reopens. yeah.. sai gang all the way, no break, no short getaways. but, hopefully, i can learn the ropes and discover more about myself during this period of time. since i have to do it, must well enjoy it right? *always look on the bright side of life, deng deng deng deng deng deng deng deng*

apart from the internship, i also questioned my love for events mgmt. i looked into the future. imagined whether i will really be happy with a hectic lifestyle and unstable pay. im unsure. or rather, freaked out at the thought of it. or maybe volunteering will be the better cup of tea for me. social entrepreneur maybe. not for the glamourous title of an entrepreneur, but rather, whether i really have a passion for it. thats why im rather determined to join the citibank-youth for causes 2009 to test whether my thoughts are realistic enough, my working style down to earth enough.

hope i can be certain about my life soon. an aimless life is no life.