this marks 100th

as i sit and stare into the future, i realised how bleak it seems, how uncertain. my life seems to be affected by so many events and decisions that i don't know where i'm heading to.

ever since i've relinquished myself of the tiring events mgmt internship, i've promised myself that i will not go into this line ever again. a job which will soon suck my soul and life out of me and devoid me of life's pleasures. and boom! there goes my ambition.

indeed, i've stepped into university dreaming that 4 years later, i will have my own events mgmt company, not realising the shit it entails. and as i look back, the ambitions i once held are also no longer feasible.

strange enough, my dad actually went to a fortune teller in china (who is supposed to be spot on) to check whats my future like. he told me its not that bad, at least i will get a job and marry at 27/28. hahah.. this didnt ease my worries.

i have to find myself, in this turmoil of uncertainty.

on a lighter note, week 8 has just gone by in a flash again. I've spent most of my time with the floorballers. its strange that its always the few of us who turn up for club gatherings.. really strange.. how i wish everyone will soon find their devotion to the club.

oh and recently, i find myself being asked by a number of (different) people on my past and questioning why i'm so secretive.. HAHAHA.. indeed i am. perhaps its just because i don't like to share my life that much and that i don't think anyone will be able to share in my problems, so telling will only weaken myself. morbid hur. but yeah, even my family members don't know much about me.. so if you think you do, good for you ;)