week 11

i'm kinda looking forward to my weekend.

Saturday might be packed with meetings from 10am to 10pm.

Sunday might star a stressful game with blacks and returning to school thereafter to follow up with my project reports and presentations.

But, yeah. i'm set on accomplishing all my objectives in my three meetings. and this weekend might well be my most productive one.

all the best everyone!

so many things to do, to worry about

FML

hell weeks set in

week 12 : Tues- LDM presentation+ report, Wed-SP Presentation+ Report, Thurs-Possible PM Presentation

Week 13: Wed-Ethics presentation+report, Wed-SP Major project Presentation

Week 15: Submission of PM report

i'm just reminding myself, cause i might just suffer from a burnout and forget all my deadlines. This might be my most hectic sem in SMU where everything is really crammed together.

Give me some breathing space man! but from now till end of week 13, i will basically MIA. only my project group members will see me.

you're not alone

something happened today which really traumatised me. i had better not blog about it and try to let time erase this piece of memory.

i cried everytime i recount the incident to my friends and my mum. i even cried to myself in the cubicle. loserish. haha.. but yeah, my friends' concerns really made my day and i feel blessed. thanks to all :)

after every training, i seriously feel like an old lady. and, now that my joints hurt and my pinky and thumb is injured, i feel like taking a long rest to heal them.. if not i wonder what i will do if i can't grab and hold in the future.

haiz.. and as the sem draws nearer to the end, i feel quite sad in one corner of my heart. next sem, all (but cons and me) of my batch of floorball girls will be flying for exchange. how i wish that i can fly off too.. school is stressing me out.. nevermind, i shall look forward to an adventure of my own come year 4 sem 1:)

when i can take it no more

silent cries at night which you don't hear.

i'm beginning to feel as if i'm wearing a mask everyday, trying hard to play my part. yes, i'm that lonely soul who doesnt care what you think actually. i live in my own world, compelled to smile and comply.

for that silent cries won't reach you as long as the mask stays on. who knows when it will be removed and what will happen to that soul underneath the shield.

wednesday, ethics day

i feel like flipping through the encyclopedia of vulgarities to pick one best vocab to describe my feeling now.

i spent 3 hrs coughing in bed last night before i actually slept for one hour plus. damn freaking tired now and here i am, in my 830 ethics class where the prof is talking about redundant stuff. my time can surely be spent better elsewhere.

so yesterday was my first (academic) day of week 9 and everything went well, except that i still havent class parted. damn. sinyi was/is right, i should stop feeling sorry for myself!

edwin once again didnt manage to attend pm class despite having taken drastic measures.. ahahaha. and so, for the first time in 9 weeks, sinyi and i spent the 1.5hrs talking about tattoos and other random stuff. talking crap, chilling out with friends really makes me feel better spiritually.

on a side note, while on the bus yesterday, something really caught my attention. just a few days ago, i was lamenting about my fat calves and how sorry i felt for myself. however, when i saw the calves of the women sitting opposite me on the bus today. i realised mine aint that bad. at least its average. try paying more attention to women's calves next time round ;)

101

i'm irritated with my performance on court today. totally because i'm not focused. i think i will just break down if this happens for the next game, against RP Adriots. oh wells, its over, and i've got to agree that despite the scoreline, we did lose to supernova completely.

argh, whenever i think of all the floorball admin stuff to settle, and the week 10 ldm quiz and work experience presentation, ethics paper, sp projects, pm project, i really feel like escaping all together. i need to get my act together man.

I CAN DO IT!

oh.. and i need to watch paperheart and learn the meaning of love. cause to me, its seems really impossible to find love. perhaps i don't actually know what it is right from the start.

oh, and marcus is so funny.. look at this cert that he made up :)

this marks 100th

as i sit and stare into the future, i realised how bleak it seems, how uncertain. my life seems to be affected by so many events and decisions that i don't know where i'm heading to.

ever since i've relinquished myself of the tiring events mgmt internship, i've promised myself that i will not go into this line ever again. a job which will soon suck my soul and life out of me and devoid me of life's pleasures. and boom! there goes my ambition.

indeed, i've stepped into university dreaming that 4 years later, i will have my own events mgmt company, not realising the shit it entails. and as i look back, the ambitions i once held are also no longer feasible.

strange enough, my dad actually went to a fortune teller in china (who is supposed to be spot on) to check whats my future like. he told me its not that bad, at least i will get a job and marry at 27/28. hahah.. this didnt ease my worries.

i have to find myself, in this turmoil of uncertainty.

on a lighter note, week 8 has just gone by in a flash again. I've spent most of my time with the floorballers. its strange that its always the few of us who turn up for club gatherings.. really strange.. how i wish everyone will soon find their devotion to the club.

oh and recently, i find myself being asked by a number of (different) people on my past and questioning why i'm so secretive.. HAHAHA.. indeed i am. perhaps its just because i don't like to share my life that much and that i don't think anyone will be able to share in my problems, so telling will only weaken myself. morbid hur. but yeah, even my family members don't know much about me.. so if you think you do, good for you ;)

99th post

this video was forwarded to me by sin yi, and its really quite funny:

i seriously didn't go youtube it. haha..

went for training today and realised i really am quite lazy. jo and loi were correct. i don't usually move my body, and am not fast at it. haiz.. i've still got a lot more to learn dude..

we are already halfway into mid term week and i have done absolutely nothing. shag-a-lausai.

ok. i promise the 100th post will be more interesting than this.. haha!

5/10/09

the flash mob which gave the idea to OPRAH + BEP's MEGA FLASH MOB:

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=2XHN2ADS

so last night was supergirls' 'girls night out'. we really didn't gossip much since we knew each others' secrets. perhaps we are only waiting for sinyi to share her darkest secrets with us ;) (hint intended)

and sigh, my cough is making me sound so huskyyy.... like a dog.

oh! and last match with ntu was the foxes' second clean sheet together! lets hope we can maintain this for the remaining matches, then we will be on top ;) of the table, of course...

cute baby

awesome flash mob :)

you will not regret watching this

lets get it started

Week 8 signifies a time of change.

a change where i know i have to make in due time.

BE PUNCTUAL.

With the start of school, i will promise to not miss any more lessons

and i will give my very best in my studies, projects and cca.

a promise that i will hold myself to.

enough of emo-ing. lets get it started.